On Dating

I used to be much more carefree, equally driven to succeed and less stressed out about it when I was a teenager. It wasn’t until someone showed interest in me (something to which I was not accustomed), and then fed me rejection, that I started to wonder why I didn’t date as much as my peers. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. This was the brginning of me not trusting in how awesome I am. Instead, I would try with renewed determination to make my next relationship work. And again. And again. This flawed perspective needs correcting, because I have, at times, bent completely out if my natural shape and when rejection inevitably came, I blamed myself for not bending further rather than understanding that I should not have to bend.

Finding someone who is perfect for us to spend our lives with seems such a monumentally improbable task that we try to swing the odds back in our favour by altering things about ourselves that could be seen as unappealing. Dating destroys individuality if you aren’t careful. Isn’t it ironic that trying to find someone to compliment me has caused me to lose myself?

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