Visuddha Song

I don’t really know where to start
I’m expected to speak but I get this knot next to my heart
That travels up to my neck
And won’t let my breath connect
With the words swimming in my head
So I just pass on the opportunity instead
When I’m feeling blue
I don’t really know what to do
Because I don’t want to spread around my poo
So, from me, nothing is said
I guess that can make me pretty constipated
And this build up of fecal matter
Gets thicker than pancake batter
While others are gifted with the ability to natter
My nerve begins to shatter
And instead of worrying about the question
And coming up with a suggestions
I get worries about worrying
And my brain starts hurrying
But it is just a hamster on a wheel on crack
Furiously turning but never advancing on the track
So even though my mind is in overdrive
Something useful to say never arrives
I’m much more clever when left to my own devices
But here is the mother-fraking crisis
Since I have no idea if what I write is any good
And I’m already tender about not being understood
My automatic default is to assume it’s all shit
And that is another crappy problem, isn’t it?
Dealing with anxiety
Using creativity
Can be quite liberating
But only if you are obliterating
Any attachment to the end result
Come on, be an adult!
Not everything that tumbles to the page can be expected to be gold
But that doesn’t make it toxic like black mould
Unless you let it asexually reproduce
And letting it fuck itself and you is like drug abuse
So stop that fungi in its wake
Sure, you might make some mistakes
But trying will get you further than sitting on your hands
Submissive to other people’s demands
You don’t have to over do it and vocalize with aggression
But speak your truth, don’t live in suppression
And one day, if I really do the work
I might be able to speak without pre-writing – although it is a pretty adorable quirk

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One thought on “Visuddha Song

  1. Woah, this was amazing and so well written! Like I think you actually just described my life lol and in an incredibly beautiful and poetic way filled with passion, I could actually feel the words lift off the page and rest inside my soul. Wow!

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