On Emptiness

It comes from a place of emptiness
This self loathing that creeps into my mind
And crawls into my body
There is space inside me that I have not filled
A puzzle without all the pieces
I find it hard to describe the big picture
So I speak in general terms
Knowing logically that the scene is
Overall positive
But lights pop because of the darks
I know both are present
My darkness distracts me
And I have great difficulty
Identifying the spaces of light
What are they? What do they mean?
I know they are there but I am blind to them
My light burns holes in my eyes
And the dark rushes in
Filling my vision with doubt and fear
But I have figured out what to put
Into the spaces that are currently empty
They don’t exist because I lack
Intelligence, personality, beauty
These places that feel like holes
Are only missing love for myself
Once that swells
Expands and spreads
There will be no more void
As I just haven’t learned how to
Design that room inside my soul yet

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